Wisdom Teeth Extractions

Wisdom teeth extractions is a typical A-mis: something that is supposed to benefit you, but in all reality, is the worst possible scenario. Let's take a look at exactly what the intentions are versus what the actual results are.

The intentions: The intention and primary reasoning behind wisdom teeth extractions is to reduce the pressure on your already brace-altered teeth caused by "impacted wisdom teeth" thus creating the perfect smile. You would think from the way dentists talk about these teeth, that they were evil incarnate. So, the doctor puts you to sleep and gently extracts these teeth.

The reality: The reality of wisdom teeth extractions is quite different than the doctors lead you to believe. The reason these teeth are extracted is only to cause you pain, literally, that's why the doctors do this. The actual procedure goes something like this. First you are told not to eat before the surgery..that's right they don't let you eat. A few hours later you, emaciated at this point, are corralled into a hard, cold dentist's chair. They then proceed to act like a date rapist at a frat party by trying to make small talk with you while they inject you with the same stuff that killed this guy. If they're nice then the last thing you'll remember is them telling you to count back from 100, if they're like most though, all you'll remember is a creepy laugh. Here's the part you won't remember because of the whole date rape death drugs in you. The doctor proceeds to slice open the backs of your gums, digs down through your gums and then extracts (violently and mercilessly rips) your wisdom tooth from your jaw. If you're lucky he'll only do his twice, but he'll probably just get all hot and bothered after the first two and go for all four.

He will then sew the massive holes in your mouth shut with with thin threads that, in all honesty will probably just come out before you're home, causing the dreaded "dry socket" aka a toxic pool of profuse stink in your mouth. You are finally home and are allowed to suffer in peace for the next five days while you can't eat and certainly won't be able to sleep. Oh and the other good news is you get to look like this. Or this. Either way, it is just the last of the many features that causes wisdom teeth extractions to be truly A-mis.